Grandpa

I really feel very down, and guilty. My grandpa is in hospital now and as far as I know he's fighting for his life. My parent don't think I should go to visit him so I haven't seen him for more than a couple of weeks now.
In the meantime here I am, partying, laughing doing everything as much irresponsibly as I can.
He's always been so close to me, like another father. He helped me when I had problems, he wiped my tears away, he played with me when I was a kid. Only now I understand how much this mean to someone.
If he only knew what I am doing with my life, he wouldn't be proud of me at all. I'm not talking about school, I do well there, it's all the rest.
I overheard a conversation between my parent yesterday evening, he's so sick.
I will go to visit him, I promise that I will change, it might be the last thing i do, I promise you grandpa.